Chapter 61
Julian was returning tonight. For the past two weeks, I had been thinking and I knew what I wanted. I made up my mind. I wanted Julian to be more than just a friend. I was lying to him and myself when I told him that we were friends, Julian and I were never friends. Five years away from each other and almost another year spent with us constantly seeing each other were not enough to make me forget the love that I had for him. If anything, the past year proved to me that my heart wasn’t capable of loving anybody else but him.
Yes, he did hurt me, but he was sorry, and he had shown that. What was I going to lose if I gave him another chance? What if he was my one love? What if we had both grown up and learned how to maintain a healthy relationship? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that regretting not giving us another chance would be more hurtful than any pain he might cause me.
I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled, feeling a lot younger.
“Is it a big change!” the hairstylist.
st asked me
“Not really, I was naturally a blonde. It feels like meeting my old self again,” I replied, standing up from my seat. Lately, I had been letting my hair grow and I decided to dye it blonde again.
I was running away from my past by dying my hair black and cutting it, but I no longer wanted to run away. Not everything in my past was bad. 1 managed to become somebody who was able to stand before the ones who once hurt me. I was stronger than I ever dreamt of being. But just because I was strong that didn’t mean that I didn’t need somebody to lean on in my life. Yes, I had Julian’s family that I considered my own and I also had Maya and Sam, but I wanted to have somebody I could return to at the end of the night whom I could let go of my armor in front of. I wanted to have somebody that would make me feel relieved when he would hold me. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t picture myself with somebody other than Julian.
There were so many things I wanted to do, but it all depended on him. He needed to be back first. 1 was afraid, but not of getting hurt. This time, I was afraid of rejection. What if I took too long to make up my mind? What if he realized that I wasn’t the best one for him?
His birthday was a few days ago, but I couldn’t throw him the party I wanted because he was away. I was scared of sending him a message wishing him a happy birthday, but I did anyway with my fingers crossed. I couldn’t just ignore the day like that. Although his reply was short, I was glad that he didn’t totally ignore me.
Rose planned on throwing him a small birthday party tonight and she invited me. She didn’t know anything about our last conversation, so she wasn’t aware that Julian and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms. I planned on changing everything tonight though. Only if he gave me a chance
I was going to meet Harper in an hour. I bet she was going to be extremely surprised with my blonde hair. Even my daughter was going to be shocked. She had never seen me with blonde hair before
I reached the cafe where we were supposed to meet, and I couldn’t find her. I was early anyway. I ordered a cappuccino and took a book out of my bag and started to read. When I was in New Jersey, I found company in books. They were my friends when loneliness took over my life and ever since then. I discovered a whole new realm I wish I had discovered a long time ago.
“Is that you!!” I looked up and saw a stunned Harper in front of me. I laughed as I got up from my place and hugged her. “You look so much younger!”
“Do I look better!” I grinned, shaking my hair a little.
“Yes! You look stunning!” she exclaimed. “You look like the old Emily, she commented as the two of us sat down.
“I told
-50.
you you could call me Emily if you wanted.” I replied.
what’s behind that change?” she wondered.
“I have been thinking about this for a while and I thought that now might be the right time.”
“Why?” She tilted her head to the side. The waitress came to take her order, then left us to continue our conversation.
“Because I’m done running.” I said. “I have been running away from a lot of things and I think that now is the right time stop running,”
“Why am I getting more confused? She let out a short laugh.
“Do you think Julian still loves me?” Her eyes widened upon hearing my question.
know that he still loves you. My brother has only started to get back to his old self when you returned. I never want to see the version we saw when you were away every again.”
“But what if I’m too late?” I looked down. I was confused and scared, but now I know that.. I want to be with him. Do you think he would accept
“You’re oblivious” She shook her head. “Julian is waiting for you to say the word, Emily”
“But he told me I was unintentionally emotionally abusing him.” I nervously rubbed my hands together. I couldn’t forgive myself for making him
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Chapter 61
feel abused, because I didn’t mean to toy with his feelings.
“You can say whatever you want, and my answer will be the same, Julian is waiting for you to tell him that you want him back,” she insisted, making
me smile.
“I’m going to tell him today once he’s back that I love him” I was just hoping that I wasn’t too late. Our last conversation wasn’t exactly the best and I was afraid that I might have lost him. He didn’t even hug me before leaving and that was enough to make hundreds of bad scenarios run through
nty mind.
“What makes you sure that you love him?” Harper asked, sipping the juice she ordered.
“Do you remember my first Thanksgiving and Christmas with you!” She nodded. “He still makes me feel the way I used to feel back then. He makes me happy when he walks in the room. I find comfort in his embrace. A stupid smile finds its way to my lips when his name pops on my phone
screen.”
“I know you two would surely want your privacy when you tell him that, but part of me wants to hide and eavesdrop because I so want to know how he’s going to react,” she said, making me laugh
“Yeah, I think privacy is a vital factor here,” I chuckled.
“I have always thought that airports witness the most romantic moments,” Harper smirked, and I looked at her confusingly. “Would you like to pick him up from the airport?” I immediately nodded, but then my excitement faded. What if he didn’t want to see me?
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Yes, stop overthinking! I swear, the two of you are going to be the death of me.” Harper rolled her eyes and I smiled.
Julian and I weren’t anyone’s typical couple. Our relationship had witnessed a lot of downs. They were probably more than our ups, but I still had hope, I spent five years gluing myself back together and I succeeded. I was a whole again and I was strong enough to live on my own for the rest of my life, but I didn’t want to. I wanted Julian to be with me. I needed time to heal from what he had done, and I healed. It was now time to take the next step
I arrived at the airport thirty minutes early. I was stoked and wanted nothing but to hug and kiss him. Rosie was already at her grandparents‘ place. I drove her there earlier before coming to the airport. Everybody was there waiting for us to celebrate his birthday. I got him two gifts and couldn’t wait to give them to him. I had a lot of plans in mind and I hoped that he would allow me to bring them to life with him.
I was waiting in a small hall since it was specialized for private jets. It wasn’t my first time to be here, and from what I was seeing, it seemed that something was wrong. 1 looked around and studied the employees who were rushing here and there, whispering to each other. My chest started to tighten. Did something bad happen? Seeing the disruption and turbulence in the hall was enough to make me anxious.
“Excuse me, what’s going on?” I asked one of the workers.
“A private jet experienced some issues with its landing, and it caught on fire.” My eyes widened upon hearing that, and my heart sank in my stomach. No, that couldn’t be his private jet.
“W–which one?” I was scared of what she was going to say.
“The Kensington jet.” My hands flew to my mouth to silence my gasp.
What kind of trick was fate playing on me?
